Fall semester of 1980, my parents drove me up Lookout Mountain, TN. I had been here before, because my 3 sisters had all attended Covenant College. I couldn’t wait to be a “big college” student, just like my sisters!
See the “castle” tower on the right hand side of the main building? Well my dorm room was right beside it on the top floor. Climbing 5 floors of stairs was the only way to get up there (antiquated elevator was for moving in only).
It took me a couple of days to get a somewhat acclimated with my new surroundings. I had three roommates (2 of which were missionary kids as well, and one from Atlanta). We three worked very diligently to get our room all fixed up as soon as possible, because open dorms was that very Sunday night!!
Eight o’clock arrived and it was announced that men were on the floor. I was excited, but anxious! I had never experienced this before! A couple of guys popped their heads in and said hello and off they went to the next rooms. Then came in this really cute guy in a red shirt – not too tall, not too short, nice stature. Extremely friendly! He ended up sitting on the floor and got to know my 3 roommates and me. I kept waiting for him to get up and leave to go on to the next rooms, but he didn’t! We ended up sitting on that same spot all evening (in front of the closet door) just chatting away.
I had never met anyone before where I could just talk… about anything, and he would listen…with seeming interest! 
Every time we would spend time together, I got more and more at ease. I told him that I had never had a brother before (family of 4 girls), and for the first time in my life I had a brother to come to for anything! I’m told that that is the LAST thing a guy wants to hear when he is interested in dating you. Oh well!
I had never gone on a date before without asking my parents for permission beforehand. I was in college now and it was all up to me to make the “right decision”. I was petrified! Fortunately one of my sisters was finishing up her last semester at that time, and so I could get her opinion when need be.
I went out with a couple of the basketball players (since that was in my realm – being on the b-ball and v-ball teams). That was my “comfort zone” I guess. Then I was asked out from some of the other guys. I would come back from them and tell John about my dates – he WAS my “brother”, right?
After a couple of months, John asked me if I would like to go out on a date – just dinner and then walk around the mall and just “hang out”. hmmm That sounded like fun! Sure!! When he picked me up, he said that he wanted to go by his parents’ house so that I could meet them, and they me. I thought that that was so sweet. Absolutely! What a great way to get to know someone, especially if he is close to his parents and proud to show them off!
Down the mountain we went and we had a nice dinner…. It passed by, and he was very gentlemanly – opening doors, etc. I felt like a lady! Then on to the mall we went. We got out of the car and began walking across the parking lot. He reached out his hand and grabbed mine – not the intertwined way, just “normally”. He came across so confidently! I’ll never forget that feeling! I don’t know if I smiled or not, but I can guarantee you I was beaming on the inside! What a man! What boldness and confidence he just showed! I felt safe and protected! I don’t remember much at the mall, my night had already been made!
Well, it was time to head back to campus and so we proceeded the drive up the mountain. We talked and talked the whole way back. What fun!! UNTIL…. when we stopped at the stop sign right before arriving on campus he said, “You know, I’m going to end up marrying you.” My heart stopped! I looked at him, I’m sure I had a shocked look, and said, “Over my dead body! There is NO WAY that you know that only after ONE DATE!! Oh, I was mad! He was very persistent that he was right. “Mark my words, we are going to get married.” Ugh!! That just upset me all the more! Needless to say he did NOT get a good night kiss from me! No way, no how!
The next day… okay the following days he was always down in the lobby (bottom floor of that big castle building). When it was time to go to chapel, he asked if he could sit by me. “Sure!” He tried to hold my hand on the way, and I pulled away. “Not here in public, and we aren’t “dating”, and everyone will think we are, and, and, and.” That didn’t stop him from trying though, only to get his hand whacked by me.
Well after a while, I decided that I really liked this guy, but he needed to give me a little breathing room. “I’ll date you, but you need to give me a little more space.” After all, I can’t get married until I graduate – Daddy said! And that’s 4 years from now!! “
Well, after dating a few months, John (bless his heart) did anything and everything I asked him to do in order to “fit into my master plan of who I would eventually marry” (he had to be someone that was like my Daddy – wink). I had had it all planned out before even getting to College as to what kind of a guy I would marry! I could tell that both he and I were trying to “fit a square into a circle” for lack of a better term. It just didn’t seem “normal”. He was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable…. this just wasn’t working the way I thought it should. It broke my heart! I thought it best to break up, so as not to lead him along. 
A few months went by, and I could tell this whole time that I was being watched by John! EVERYWHERE, and EVERYONE I talked to, he knew all about it. If he couldn’t be there to observe, he would have one of his friends report back to him. It got so bad that before I would go down into the lobby to go to class, I would have someone look out in the lobby and see if John Martin was down there. If so, I would climb up two flights of stairs and go across to the other side and out the back door, to give him “the slip”!! Well, that worked for a while, but one day he cornered me in the lobby hallway.
He approached and we said the cordial “hellos” and such. “So, would you consider going to the Greek Restaurant with me?” Oh no!!! Not the Greek Restaurant!!! I LOVE that place!!! So quaint, such great and cozy environment, so original………. “okay”. He got me!! He knew I hadn’t been off the mountain in quite a while and I was getting a little “cabin feverish”. His coercion worked. We went… and had a blast. ….. I realized then how much I had missed “my brother/boyfriend”. Needless to say, we started dating again.
In the meantime, the other girls in my dorm were asking about us, if we were dating, how serious we were, beware of him because he’s out looking for a wife, he gets too serious too quickly, and on and on and on. They all warned me to watch out. Well, of course this made me hesitate and wonder! “Am I making the right decision? Is he being ‘real’ with me? etc. Oh I was a mess! I would watch him play football outside my window (5 stories down), and he was pretty good! I was impressed with his quarterback abilities! He kept looking up to my window to see if I was watching him, so of course I would duck and hide so he wouldn’t catch me!
Well….. the doubts crept back in again and I called it off, once again. I have no idea how many times I did this to the poor guy!! Again,… bless his heart. But I was a mess!! I DIDN’T KNOW!!! Better to be safe than sorry, so take some more time to think and pray about it.
John has already mentioned his trip back up to the College to see me after he moved to Texas so I won’t bore you with the same information. Oh! one thing he didn’t tell you was that during that time away, not only had he moved to Texas he also joined the Army! I had no idea! He said it was to get back at me, but I had no clue! :-p
All I can say is that I loved being with him and spending hours and hours just being together and talking about anything that came to mind. I liked him A LOT! But he STILL wasn’t fitting into my pre-planned list of “credentials”. And that bugged me half to death! He was more focused on business! I had NEVER been around anyone or anything business! I grew up as a missionary kid in Mexico and Costa Rica and Ecuador! He didn’t have plans to be a missionary, or a pastor, or even a youth pastor! That was MY plan! Why oh why John!!??!!
Two years passed. I had moved to California for a semester, and then back to Covenant to finish up my senior year. I had no idea where or what John was doing. After graduation I sent out resumes for teaching positions across the country, wondering where God would have me go next. California it was! I was accepted by a Christian School in south LA!
My parents picked me up after graduation, and we traveled across the “great state of Texas”. I remember laying down in the back seat of the car. Mom and Dad were in the front. I was unaware as to our location. Dad broke the silence. “I understand there is a young man you know who lives around here.” My heart thumped. I don’t know why, it just did. I’m not even sure if it was a good or bad “thump”! Dad began to go over the past that John and I had had. (I was keeping my parents up along the way as to my relationship with John – even via Ham Radio while they were still in Ecuador). I put a stop to the conversation. It just hurt too much. Way too many feelings and emotions! But, even when conversation stopped, I still thought about him. He’s the only person I ever could feel real with; he’s the only person I felt comfortable around; he’s the only person who made me feel special; he’s the only one who ever told me he loved me; and so forth…. but I made myself stop. “He’s not the one for you, Jill, so just move on.”
Out of the blue, during the summer where I was running a summer day camp, I received a letter in the mail. *big eyes! Gulp! Whaaat? How did he get my address? How did he know where I was? What are you doing, God? I took the letter to my room and opened it up. I recognized the hand writing. I saw the picture he sent of his new niece. “That scoundrel!! He wants me to send it back to him??” Oh how the emotions went haywire … again!! He’s the only person EVER to stir up so many emotions – but mostly anger right now, cuz he was up to his “tricks”! After reading his hand written letter many times, I put it down. What to do? I hated that fact that he just “played me”. “I should just put the picture in an envelop and send it back!” “ughhhh”! What to do?? “Fine! I’ll just write a VERY generic, one-paged-letter and be done with it!” I couldn’t have been more cold in my writing! Just the facts, just the facts! “There! That should make him mad! I didn’t tell him anything that would make him feel that I had any feelings for him. I did good!” Off to the post office! I never expected to hear back from him because I was “so cold” in my letter.
A few weeks later… Mom and Dad were living in Escondido, CA where he had taken a position at the seminary. One weekend he and mom had a cookout for all of the new, single, seminary students. “Oh how nice! Not!” More like, “Oh how awkward!” Anyhow…. in the middle of being sociable with all the guys (around 15?) the phone rings. “Jill, it’s for you!” …
“Hello?”
“Hi! Do you know who this is?”
“ummmm…. John?” (my heart, adrenaline, blood pressure, nerves, stomach tightening went bonkers!) “Um, can you call me back next week? Dad has a bunch of people over and I need to get back and help out.” It took me a few minutes to gain composure before heading out.
All week long while teaching, I kept finding myself anticipating this phone call that next weekend. I couldn’t focus very well. “What are you doing, God? Why now? Don’t you know I’ve got my life on track and have accepted the fact that I’m not supposed to have a man in my life, much less get married yet?”
The weekend came – 6:00pm Sunday night. “Ring Ring” “It’s John!” My heart skipped. “Why is my heart skipping? What’s going on?” Six hours later we hung up. SIX hours!!! I wish I could describe how good it was to talk to someone again who “got me”!! It had been 2 1/2 very long years for me. So many things took place in my life and I had a lot of growing up to do. But I was alone – lonely. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone. I had to keep up a good front. I didn’t have “that someone” to talk to and help me along the way.
Next Sunday night I had another call. We talked for another 3-5 hours. Wow! Feelings are stirring up again, like really fast! That phone call ended with, “Can I come out to see you?” THUMP! What to do? What to say? So confused! “Give me a week and I’ll give you my answer.” All week long I thought and prayed, thought and prayed, thought and prayed. “I’ve never felt like this before! Is this what love feels like? Why can’t I get him out of my mind!? “You know, Jill, if he comes out, he’s going to ask you to marry him… again. What are you going to say?” is what I kept asking myself.
Next Sunday night… “Ring Ring”… me: “You aren’t on a plane yet?” I had already decided that I would answer “yes” to him if he were to ask.
The next weekend FINALLY got here. I couldn’t wait to see John! I got to the airport with plenty of time! Full of anxiety, excitement, nervous stomach, blood pressure through the roof, feeling all “oogley-googley” inside. Finally the airplane lands. I wait patiently – kind of. The door opened and people started filing out. “Where is he?” “What does he look like now?” “Am I dressed ok?” “THERE he is!! My! He looks SO good!” My heart begins to pitter patter all the more. He finally got to the bottom of the steps and I really really surprised myself. I kissed him!! Whaaaat? I never initiated anything like that before!! I couldn’t help myself!! He was just so handsome! I was a nervous wreck! But he was here, with me!
The next morning we headed off to Disneyland. I figured that that would be a good place to go to get reacquainted and catch up on our lives and enjoy the Park at the same time. The day seems like a blur to me. Nightime came and it was time for the Electric Parade. We found a bench on the center town circle and sat and chatted and chatted and chatted. While we were chatting John said, “you know, we should get married.” I remember that clear as day, because I had waited all day for that question. I knew it was inevitable! “Okay”, was my response. He paused. “What? Did you just say ‘okay’?” “Uh huh” (big smile). “Did you just accept my proposal???” “yep”. John, “I want to stand up on top of the bench and tell everyone that you FINALLY said YES!!!!!” I held him down.
The following morning we called my parents, and then went to the jeweler. ALL friends and family were shocked!
But all I can say is….. God is the One is charge of our lives, not us. It all has to happen in His Perfect Timing. God knew all along back in 1980, Freshman year that He had created us for each other.
Oh, and one more thing… “You just know …. you just know when you are in love and want to marry that special person and spend the rest of your life with them.”
Sweetheart, thank you for loving me so much and being patient while I grew up. I love you Baby!
